|Season 2, Episode 5|
|Written by||Brian McGreevy|
|Directed by||Spencer Susser|
Such Dire Stuff
Hemlock Diego's Policy Player's Dream Book is the fifth episode of the second season and the eighteenth episode overall.
After discovering and breastfeeding the baby, Miranda has a few very good questions for Roman. He is consumed by his blood lust and grabs her. He then bites into her neck twice, with the second time his mouth extends as far as to his neck and showering them both in her blood as a poppy French song plays. It’s quickly revealed to be a fantasy and Miranda is perfectly fine. Roman finally realizes how dire his situation and decides to call Pryce for help. He tries to rush out of the house as Miranda keeps up her questioning, and ends up grudgingly giving her the number for his family doctor so she can get her spontaneous lactation problem checked out. Sheriff Michael Chasseur drops in to visit Peter in his cell, where Peter tries to explain the whole “I saw it in a dream” thing to him. Michael says he doesn’t believe him, but ends up letting Peter go anyway since the woman Peter “threatened” isn’t around to press charges. While shaving her legs Olivia cuts herself Later, Pryce gives her still healing tongue a once-over before giving her the good news: Roman called and is desperate enough to maybe listen to them this time.
Shelly is again visited by her buddy, who brings her a phone. She uses it to get into her inbox, where she sees all the emails Norman’s been sending her. Shelley types out a response to him. Peter goes home, where an irate Destiny tells him they’re supposed to meet the lawyer today. Peter leaves a message for Roman about his latest dream before they rush off. The lawyer doesn’t have good news for them: there are new charges being put on Lynda’s case, and this could potentially put Lynda away for ten years. Turning on the wrong moon is having a terrible effect on Peter’s temper; he throws a fit, trashes the lawyer’s office, and runs off. Roman meets with Pryce in his secret lair in the subbasement, where he sees the girl in the box. Pryce tells Roman her name is Prycilla, and she’s the first human being to ever be created in an extra-uterine environment. He then shows Roman the big secret, a box filled with a “nutrient concentrate” repurposed from genetic experiments. AKA a big metal box filled with floating body parts that Roman can snack on. It’s an elegant, if disgusting, solution to a pretty dangerous problem. Roman chugs down the beaker of slimy stuff Pryce hands to him, then tosses Pryce aside so he can gorge on more, ignoring Pryce’s warning that Roman’s metabolism needs to adjust first. When he snaps out of it, he pukes and runs away.
Miranda is with the doctor Roman recommended. The man assures her there’s nothing wrong, and that she’s lactating because her body thinks it’s pregnant when it’s not – possibly because of the baby she’s been hanging around. Peter and Destiny have left the lawyer’s office and gone straight to the prison to visit Lynda, who looks awful. Peter and Destiny lie to her about the lawyer having a good case to give her hope. Lynda tells them she’s being transferred soon. Destiny cooks up some form of hallucinogen that spawns imaginary spiders all over the faces of the correctional officers taking Lynda to her new prison. When the officers run off in a panic, Peter, Andreas and Destiny roll up to break her out. Peter hands her a plane ticket to Romania, and they rush off to the airport. The airport goodbye is a touching one, as Lynda realizes this will probably be the last time she sees her son – especially since she has a “feeling” people in Hemlock Grove still need him.
Pryce reports back to Olivia about Roman. He also tells her the lab results came back on her symptoms – one of the ones he lists is “normal human emotion,” which is just hilarious to me for some reason – and informs her that she seems to be aging at an accelerated rate. Olivia says she needs to focus now on helping Roman. Later, fed up with “sitting around waiting for death to find” her, Olivia heads out to a karaoke bar, downs a bunch of shots, then actually goes on stage and sings. Meanwhile, her boyfriend/brother-in-law Norman is busy investigating Shelley’s email. He and his P.I. talk about Shelley, the still missing Marie, and for some unknown reason, the new sheriff’s work history. Miranda’s spontaneous lactation thins happens again, and again she goes into the super secret baby room to cuddle that poor, sweet, neglected child. When Roman gets home, Miranda casually mentions that she told the doctor about Roman’s baby. Roman freaks out and makes her promise not to tell anyone else. To get her to stop asking questions, Roman also tells her the reason he’s keeping the baby secret is because there’s a history of abuse in the family – his family. “Her grandmother is dangerous,” says Roman. Even with Olivia’s current bout of empathy, “dangerous” is the understatement of the century.
Miranda comforts Roman by telling him he’s doing the best he can. They end up having sex as, again, a “slow melancholic ballad” plays. The woman and kid Peter saved awhile ago haven’t escaped their killers after all; White Mask Dudes follow them to their new digs and drown the little kid in the bath and throw his mother out the window. When Peter gets home from the airport, the Sheriff is waiting for him – and because Peter’s premonition has now become reality, Michael is willing to hear him out. He also confesses to knowing a little something about the supernatural. The abandoned house Shelley has been staying in is broken into by three men. Shelley manages to hide in time, but knows she can’t keep doing this forever and texts Norman for help. Roman leaves after his tryst with Miranda and sneaks into Pryce’s bedroom and begs Pryce to help him because he doesn't want anyone else to die. Pryce agrees, but warns Roman that what he has in mind has never been done before.